Friday, May 22, 2009
Blinking awake
She didn't remember how or when she got there. The light from the street lamps were harsh compaired to the darkeness of the bar. Blinking as she sepped out onto the sidewalk, a new light blinded her eyes. Through watery vision, Madelyn saw the red flashes of an ambulance. She crossed the silent street. In the distance, the gravelly rumble of the engine churned the night. A small gathering of people stood motionless in a cluster, covering the body from view. She quickened her pace. Who was it? And as the doors to the ambulance were swung shut, she began to jog with a certain urgency. Who was it? As she reached the spot where the crowd had once been, she felt a strange sense of emptiness. Collapsing on the curb, she decided she'd call her mom.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
A Fuckin' Breath of Fresh Air
The engine rumbled to a start, emitting a gray fog of exhaust from the stern. Madelyn clung to the captain's chair for support as the boat gradually accelerated.
"Hold on," He shouted over the motor, peering back at her from the corner of his eye. The boat lurched forward and water ran from the front deck to the back of the boat, sloshing as it came to an abrupt stop at the rear. Motor oil caught the sunlight as it pooled together, metallic and toxic. Madelyn took shallow breaths until the wind picked up, blowing with it the pollutants choking the air. Madelyn stared at the back of his head. Don, he'd told her. She could tell his wind-blown hair would've been three shades lighter had it been clean. Blonde? Brunette? The skin above his shirt collar had seen years of sun. A deep golden tan warmed his neck. Madelyn found herself reaching out to touch him, and she withdrew her arm quickly. She turned her attention toward their location.
The pier was well behind the bubbling wake of the boat, and sea gulls floated through the air as little white blotches. He slowed the motor. When the boat came to a gentle rocking motion, he turned to her. She was staring off in the distance. The gulls.
"Why'd you want to come out here?" he blurted, trying to catch her attention.
"Oh, uh. I just needed to feel the wind. The city..." she trailed off,"can be exhausting," she breathed.
He bowed his head in an exaggerated acquiescence. "Thats the beauty of the ocean. Its so goddamned open. A fuckin' breath of fresh air is what it is."
The two sat in content silence for what seemed like a long time, swaying in the salty breeze. Finally, Don inhaled deeply, and turned to start up the motor. Madelyn closed her eyes as they crashed over the choppy waves, her hair whipping around her face.
Rolling up to a street corner, Madelyn decided to take the bus the remainder of the trip home. Waiting soundlessly under the bus stop sign, she enjoyed the cool, metal pole pressed against her flushed cheek. She hitched her bike to the front of the bus and heaved her wobbling legs up the bus stairs.
Inside, she sank into the plastic seat, letting exhaustion muffle the background noises.
from behind closed eyelids, she heard the ranting of a cranky old man. By the sound of his slurred words, he was drunk. The sun was high in the sky.
"Hold on," He shouted over the motor, peering back at her from the corner of his eye. The boat lurched forward and water ran from the front deck to the back of the boat, sloshing as it came to an abrupt stop at the rear. Motor oil caught the sunlight as it pooled together, metallic and toxic. Madelyn took shallow breaths until the wind picked up, blowing with it the pollutants choking the air. Madelyn stared at the back of his head. Don, he'd told her. She could tell his wind-blown hair would've been three shades lighter had it been clean. Blonde? Brunette? The skin above his shirt collar had seen years of sun. A deep golden tan warmed his neck. Madelyn found herself reaching out to touch him, and she withdrew her arm quickly. She turned her attention toward their location.
The pier was well behind the bubbling wake of the boat, and sea gulls floated through the air as little white blotches. He slowed the motor. When the boat came to a gentle rocking motion, he turned to her. She was staring off in the distance. The gulls.
"Why'd you want to come out here?" he blurted, trying to catch her attention.
"Oh, uh. I just needed to feel the wind. The city..." she trailed off,"can be exhausting," she breathed.
He bowed his head in an exaggerated acquiescence. "Thats the beauty of the ocean. Its so goddamned open. A fuckin' breath of fresh air is what it is."
The two sat in content silence for what seemed like a long time, swaying in the salty breeze. Finally, Don inhaled deeply, and turned to start up the motor. Madelyn closed her eyes as they crashed over the choppy waves, her hair whipping around her face.
Rolling up to a street corner, Madelyn decided to take the bus the remainder of the trip home. Waiting soundlessly under the bus stop sign, she enjoyed the cool, metal pole pressed against her flushed cheek. She hitched her bike to the front of the bus and heaved her wobbling legs up the bus stairs.
Inside, she sank into the plastic seat, letting exhaustion muffle the background noises.
from behind closed eyelids, she heard the ranting of a cranky old man. By the sound of his slurred words, he was drunk. The sun was high in the sky.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Neon Powder
As the pavement dried, dark stains of yesterday's rain slowly receded toward the street gutters, leaving a thin layer of neon chalk behind. Dips and nicks in the road still held shallow pools of water and the sickly yellow powder swirled around in clumps atop the surface. Madelyn surveyed the pollen-coated world from her apartment building stoop, leaning against it's stone rail with a single outstretched arm. With her other hand, she balanced a rusted pink bicycle. Though the gears and chain held promise, the tires drooped slightly where the rubber met the ground.
Blossoms illuminated the dogwoods lining the sidewalk like rows of suspended white lights hovering and shining brightly against the overwhelming green. It was a beautiful day, breathing opportunity. Madelyn set out on her bicycle not sure of where she was headed. Clipped glimpses of sunlight flashed through gaps in the trees as she leaned back on her seat. With her face to the sky, a cool wind rushed down her exposed throat, sending chills through her body. Her hair stood on end, and the thrill felt refreshing. The world spun forward, and she sat up straight, hitting the brakes hard. She paused only a moment before kicking off and rounding the next street corner.
The air had since warmed up during Madelyn's ride. The sun now shone overhead and sought out hiding shadows in the world below. But the wind blew from the east, carrying the cool depth of the sea. The sharp, salt air filled her lungs with each deep breath. She was headed to the pier.
The familiar sloshing of water against the sea wall welcomed Madelyn to one of her favorite places in the city. Along the shore, barnacled concrete pilings scraped against a swaying dock. All around her, heavy rust clung to exposed metal like dried blood. Her muscles tensed slightly as she stepped onto the weathered boards of the pier, imagining their prickly splinters and old dampness. After leaning her bike against the nearest railing, Madelyn then strode a ways down the boardwalk before lying down flat on her stomach. Peering over the structure's ledge, she searched the shallow waters below. What she was looking for, she couldn't have told you herself, but in the murky ocean, she thought she might find something worth looking at. A fiddler crab crawled from beneath a submerged rock. Where is his family? A school of nondescript minnows rushed by, weaving in and out of the clouds of sand. Where are they going?
"You lost somethin'?"
The voice from behind startled her. She rolled to her side abruptly. The sun was to his back and a dark silhouette loomed over her. Squinting, Madelyn slid from beneath his towering stance, and regained her standing position with the straightening of her garments.
"Um. No, I was just having a look."
She fiddled with her bracelets, loosely hanging around her left wrist, but stared straight into his eyes. A heavy brow cast shadows down his face toward the equally dense stubble adorning his jaw. Madelyn's eyes wandered across his shoulders and chest, that pressed snugly against a white tee. His Thigh-high goulashes were fastened tightly over faded jeans.
"Cool boots," was all she could think to say.
"Thanks toots," he replied with a crooked grin,"I'm a fisherman."
Blossoms illuminated the dogwoods lining the sidewalk like rows of suspended white lights hovering and shining brightly against the overwhelming green. It was a beautiful day, breathing opportunity. Madelyn set out on her bicycle not sure of where she was headed. Clipped glimpses of sunlight flashed through gaps in the trees as she leaned back on her seat. With her face to the sky, a cool wind rushed down her exposed throat, sending chills through her body. Her hair stood on end, and the thrill felt refreshing. The world spun forward, and she sat up straight, hitting the brakes hard. She paused only a moment before kicking off and rounding the next street corner.
The air had since warmed up during Madelyn's ride. The sun now shone overhead and sought out hiding shadows in the world below. But the wind blew from the east, carrying the cool depth of the sea. The sharp, salt air filled her lungs with each deep breath. She was headed to the pier.
The familiar sloshing of water against the sea wall welcomed Madelyn to one of her favorite places in the city. Along the shore, barnacled concrete pilings scraped against a swaying dock. All around her, heavy rust clung to exposed metal like dried blood. Her muscles tensed slightly as she stepped onto the weathered boards of the pier, imagining their prickly splinters and old dampness. After leaning her bike against the nearest railing, Madelyn then strode a ways down the boardwalk before lying down flat on her stomach. Peering over the structure's ledge, she searched the shallow waters below. What she was looking for, she couldn't have told you herself, but in the murky ocean, she thought she might find something worth looking at. A fiddler crab crawled from beneath a submerged rock. Where is his family? A school of nondescript minnows rushed by, weaving in and out of the clouds of sand. Where are they going?
"You lost somethin'?"
The voice from behind startled her. She rolled to her side abruptly. The sun was to his back and a dark silhouette loomed over her. Squinting, Madelyn slid from beneath his towering stance, and regained her standing position with the straightening of her garments.
"Um. No, I was just having a look."
She fiddled with her bracelets, loosely hanging around her left wrist, but stared straight into his eyes. A heavy brow cast shadows down his face toward the equally dense stubble adorning his jaw. Madelyn's eyes wandered across his shoulders and chest, that pressed snugly against a white tee. His Thigh-high goulashes were fastened tightly over faded jeans.
"Cool boots," was all she could think to say.
"Thanks toots," he replied with a crooked grin,"I'm a fisherman."
Monday, February 23, 2009
billowing joy
She sat crouching with her back against the cold, hard wall. A white sheet was pulled over her head and hung limply, coming to rest just beyond her feet. The fabric rippled gently with every breath she took, and she waited patiently in the cold silence of the apartment. Then, deep from beneath the floorboards, an eruption of air escaped the vent between Madelyn's feet. She shrieked, catching the flapping sheet sent sailing through the air. She quickly repositioned her shelter and secured it to the ground with her hands and feet. Laughing, she marveled at the dome of air that formed around her. The warmth seemed to penetrate her frozen limbs and she heaved a great sigh. A muted light fell through the cover. Her eyelids soon began to droop. But the air began to turn colder and gradually, ceased to blow. The billowing sheet fell, again coming to rest atop Madelyn's head. She could feel the warmth leaving. Her muscles tightened and her toes curled.
Lifting the drape from her face, Madelyn stared at the door. The faint clamor of hurried foot steps echoed in the hallway outside. The noise grew closer and closer until, finally, it seemed as though the person were right outside her doorway. The footsteps stopped. Her heart began to race. A silent white light flashed through the room followed by the earsplitting scream of the fire alarm. The footsteps picked up again, but this time in a run. Plugging her ears, Madelyn started toward the door, planning to head downstairs. As she rose to go, however, a smile broke across her face. Grabbing her coat from the foot of her bed, she pivoted toward the nearest window. In screeching defiance the pane slid open, and Madelyn stepped out onto the fire escape. The morning air was not much colder than that inside, but she shivered as the thin metal shifted beneath her weight. Rounding the corners of the spiraling stair, she imagined an escape from a murderous captor, skipping steps as she jumped along. A grasping hand stretched out to tear her dress, inches away. With frightening speed, the ladder swung Madelyn towards the ground. Landing heavily, she regained her balance on the slick surface and reveled in her evasion.
The residents of the apartment building had formed in a mob outside the front entrance, and as Madelyn approached, she could hear the disquiet among her neighbors. Offered with a strong waft of liquor, a bystanding woman breathed, "Some goddamned kid..."
Lifting the drape from her face, Madelyn stared at the door. The faint clamor of hurried foot steps echoed in the hallway outside. The noise grew closer and closer until, finally, it seemed as though the person were right outside her doorway. The footsteps stopped. Her heart began to race. A silent white light flashed through the room followed by the earsplitting scream of the fire alarm. The footsteps picked up again, but this time in a run. Plugging her ears, Madelyn started toward the door, planning to head downstairs. As she rose to go, however, a smile broke across her face. Grabbing her coat from the foot of her bed, she pivoted toward the nearest window. In screeching defiance the pane slid open, and Madelyn stepped out onto the fire escape. The morning air was not much colder than that inside, but she shivered as the thin metal shifted beneath her weight. Rounding the corners of the spiraling stair, she imagined an escape from a murderous captor, skipping steps as she jumped along. A grasping hand stretched out to tear her dress, inches away. With frightening speed, the ladder swung Madelyn towards the ground. Landing heavily, she regained her balance on the slick surface and reveled in her evasion.
The residents of the apartment building had formed in a mob outside the front entrance, and as Madelyn approached, she could hear the disquiet among her neighbors. Offered with a strong waft of liquor, a bystanding woman breathed, "Some goddamned kid..."
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
cement ocean
The first snowflakes of winter began to fall toward the frozen earth that morning with silent determination. Tiny white birds gliding into a gray ocean of pavement and cement. Heaving the door to her apartment building aside, an icy gust flooded Madelyn’s face, watering her eyes and catching her briefly off guard. Bowing her head to the biting wind, she gripped her coat tightly shut, not bothering to fumble with the buttons in the short walk to work. Out of old habit she counted the cracks in the sidewalk and avoided them with widening steps. Passing the doors of a gaudy day care building, Madelyn caught a glimpse of smiling faces giggling in innocent bliss. The corners of her mouth twitched noticeably, but she didn’t smile.
Warm light bathed the pavement ahead, and mirrored the square windowpanes of the salon storefront down the block. Madelyn left her thoughts only to quicken her pace. Ten minutes she said aloud. At this self-acknowledgement, she grinned. Ten minutes to get ready and walk to work had to be a personal record, she thought. Each morning, Madelyn fumbled through the dark of her room, somehow piecing together an outfit from the heap of clothes carpeting the floor. Her refusal to be comfortably early led to quite a disheveled appearance, though this grunge seemed to suit her.
The bell on the door jingled as it shut behind her, and her boss looked up from where she stood, sweeping. Noting Madelyn’s unkempt hair, Lauren frowned, but without words, ushered the girl into a salon chair. Holding several hair pins between her teeth, Lauren began work on the untamed waves of hair, pinning the dark tresses in various places.
“God, you smell like a bar,” she laughed
From behind her fallen bangs, Madelyn didn’t respond. Her eyes went in and out of focus as she gazed at her reflection in front of her.
“Hah. Yea, it was a pretty rough night," she finally replied, her sudden grin fading as the words past her lips.
The day went by in a haze. People came and went, their constant chatter filling the shop. Madelyn had other things on her mind, however, and as she ran her fingers through soapy hair and felt the heat of the blow drier, she imagined foaming bubble baths with rubber ducks and the beating summer sun in the South. She was standing on the end of a wobbling diving board when Lauren’s voice dispelled her vivid memories. Sitting in her own salon chair, Madelyn realized that she had been lost in thought for quite some time. She glanced out the window in sudden confusion and saw that the winter sky had grown very dark. Lauren told her she looked like hell. And with these words, the lights in the shop flickered. Locking eyes, Madelyn caught a glimpse of fear in Lauren’s features before the room went black. Cursing, Lauren shuffled about the room. She appeared across the shop, a candle illuminating her face. Looking on, Madelyn briefly watched as she groped around in the dim light before slipping out of her seat.
In the back alley moments later, Madelyn flinched at the crunching snow under her high heel boots. Shivering slightly, she searched the deep pockets of her coat. Withdrawing a box, she hurriedly packed the cigarettes against her open palm. Madelyn delighted in the glowing flame that shone in the surrounding darkness. In a deep drag she sank against the brick wall behind her. Exhaling, she closed her eyes.
The turbulent air licked at Madelyn’s exposed face and the hair on the back of her neck stood. From far down the alley, she heard the faint dissonance of clanking bottles. Shivering at the noise, an unsettling flutter arose in her gut. Squinting through the fading light, Madelyn surveyed the reaches of her surroundings. For a few silent moments, she strained her ears in the deafening silence. Somewhere far away, a dog howled into the evening sky. She quickly stood to go, flicking her barely-smoked cigarette into the blanket of powder. Madelyn shoved the door open, and with one last glance, peered down the alleyway. She froze. A dark figure was now visible beyond the nearest dumpster. A man stepped from the shadow, and with a sharp gasp, Madelyn slipped inside, her heart racing. The heavy locks clicked into place as she ground them forcefully shut. Striding toward the warm candlelight of the shop, Madelyn held her hands up before her. Clenching her fists, she could still feel the violent trembling of her frozen fingers.
Warm light bathed the pavement ahead, and mirrored the square windowpanes of the salon storefront down the block. Madelyn left her thoughts only to quicken her pace. Ten minutes she said aloud. At this self-acknowledgement, she grinned. Ten minutes to get ready and walk to work had to be a personal record, she thought. Each morning, Madelyn fumbled through the dark of her room, somehow piecing together an outfit from the heap of clothes carpeting the floor. Her refusal to be comfortably early led to quite a disheveled appearance, though this grunge seemed to suit her.
The bell on the door jingled as it shut behind her, and her boss looked up from where she stood, sweeping. Noting Madelyn’s unkempt hair, Lauren frowned, but without words, ushered the girl into a salon chair. Holding several hair pins between her teeth, Lauren began work on the untamed waves of hair, pinning the dark tresses in various places.
“God, you smell like a bar,” she laughed
From behind her fallen bangs, Madelyn didn’t respond. Her eyes went in and out of focus as she gazed at her reflection in front of her.
“Hah. Yea, it was a pretty rough night," she finally replied, her sudden grin fading as the words past her lips.
The day went by in a haze. People came and went, their constant chatter filling the shop. Madelyn had other things on her mind, however, and as she ran her fingers through soapy hair and felt the heat of the blow drier, she imagined foaming bubble baths with rubber ducks and the beating summer sun in the South. She was standing on the end of a wobbling diving board when Lauren’s voice dispelled her vivid memories. Sitting in her own salon chair, Madelyn realized that she had been lost in thought for quite some time. She glanced out the window in sudden confusion and saw that the winter sky had grown very dark. Lauren told her she looked like hell. And with these words, the lights in the shop flickered. Locking eyes, Madelyn caught a glimpse of fear in Lauren’s features before the room went black. Cursing, Lauren shuffled about the room. She appeared across the shop, a candle illuminating her face. Looking on, Madelyn briefly watched as she groped around in the dim light before slipping out of her seat.
In the back alley moments later, Madelyn flinched at the crunching snow under her high heel boots. Shivering slightly, she searched the deep pockets of her coat. Withdrawing a box, she hurriedly packed the cigarettes against her open palm. Madelyn delighted in the glowing flame that shone in the surrounding darkness. In a deep drag she sank against the brick wall behind her. Exhaling, she closed her eyes.
The turbulent air licked at Madelyn’s exposed face and the hair on the back of her neck stood. From far down the alley, she heard the faint dissonance of clanking bottles. Shivering at the noise, an unsettling flutter arose in her gut. Squinting through the fading light, Madelyn surveyed the reaches of her surroundings. For a few silent moments, she strained her ears in the deafening silence. Somewhere far away, a dog howled into the evening sky. She quickly stood to go, flicking her barely-smoked cigarette into the blanket of powder. Madelyn shoved the door open, and with one last glance, peered down the alleyway. She froze. A dark figure was now visible beyond the nearest dumpster. A man stepped from the shadow, and with a sharp gasp, Madelyn slipped inside, her heart racing. The heavy locks clicked into place as she ground them forcefully shut. Striding toward the warm candlelight of the shop, Madelyn held her hands up before her. Clenching her fists, she could still feel the violent trembling of her frozen fingers.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Friendly Darkness
Morning light washed over the room, and sparkling prisms danced around the walls; a thousand suspended fairies. All was silent, though Madelyn was sure she could hear the low hum of delicate wings ringing in her ears. As she lay among the broken bottles of cheap vodka littering the floor, Madelyn tried to remember.
Sudden flashing images flicked through her mind like a silent film. A man came into focus, older than she, watching her intently across the room. Her nostrils stung as she remembered the thick smell of cigars that clung to him as he leaned into her. A translucent red light blanketed the pale faces of people as they danced, weaving through the darkness. Three glinting ice cubes navigating a sea of black. The sharp scent of liquor crept from her swaying glass, deep and inviting. A happy warmth encased in her chest. But with each breath, the heat grew. A low burning in her throat threatened to stifle the air passing her lips. Like the liquid from which it was born, a fire spread through her body. From behind a cage of thin ribs, it fought to escape. Then nothing.
Madelyn rolled over and puked.
Exhausted and gasping for breath, she opened her eyes to an ocean of diamonds carpeting the ground around her. Looking up, she realized that she was not alone. Children ran about in frenzied circles, collecting the gems in large red pails. Their shovels swept the floor with bursting exuberance, scraping against the worn hardwood. Bubbling laughter erupted in the room and soon Madelyn realized that it was she who was whooping in amusement. The excitement filled her groaning, empty stomach, and she grabbed her sides, tears running down flushed cheeks. All the while, shovels raked the floor, again and again.
Madelyn opened her eyes. Wiping her mouth, she stared at the ceiling. Long shadows stretched across the cracking white paint. Shakily rising to her feet, glass fell from her arms and legs as Madelyn gingerly made her way to her bedroom. Kicking off her heels, she fell into the endless comfort of her sheets. Then darkness.
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